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It has been a good bit since my last post. A lot has gone on, dramatic life changing events. Mostly it is the fact of having very limited Internet and being lazy on vacation. There is news to report. This blog is no longer affiliated with Old Dominion University as an internship with the English department. Thus, there will be a lot more posts with explicit cursing and gratuitous nudity. But as long as they continue to advertise this blog on their website, I will keep the nude sun-bathing pictures to a minimum.

I have started my trek home. It is a slow and winding way to go. Right now, I am in the midst of traveling through tropical Northern Queensland via campervan. I fully intended on adding a few posts tonight, but with 15 minutes of Internet left, that seems a bit too tasking for current humid weather conditions. Instead I will give the names of a few future posts:

Campervan Living

Goon + A Deck of Cards = A Backpacker’s Night Out

Going to Jurassic Park


and many more traveling tales.


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Streamlining my pants has become and obsession of mine. Each pocket becomes utilized in order to minimize bulk. Jacket pocket holds the cell phone. Right pocket holds the keys and chapstick. Left pocket holds the coins. Back pocket holds the wallet. There is little room for alteration.

But then there is the passport.

It is no new notion that pubs/clubs/bars require proper identification before admittance is allowed. Usually my state issued driver’s license has sufficed. However, in Australia, an American driver’s license is just not enough. It only takes one long tram ride in to the city and being told, “next time bring your passport” for the lesson to stick. Therefore, it has become necessary to bring my passport to ensure entrance in to said pubs/clubs/bars.

Adding a passport to delicate balance of pocket power did not work… at first. When a person’s back is against the wall, the human brain is capable of sensational feats. My brain traveled years back to show a glimpse of one the greatest inventions: a man who combined the passport with the essentials from the wallet. The Passport Wallet.

The Passport Wallet donning a metro card, debit card, and cash.

I have adopted this simple, sleek, and sophisticated look. My pockets are thinner than before. With The Passport Wallet nestled close to my heart in the shirt pocket, my buttocks again lay flat, as natural as a baby, correcting all spinal issues.

There are always going to be naysayers of The Passport Wallet. People say it’s not safe and easy to lose. I say the risk of losing my identity/money is not nearly as important as the risk of looking like a dunce with enlarged pockets.

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Although Australians and Americans share a common language, English, there are many disparities in ever day slang. Of course there are some expressions that have become world known, “G’day mate,” for example. I wanted to learn the real Aussie slang. I have spent the last few days taking in as much slang as I could from friends, professors, and eavesdropping on the tram. I have come up with a list that encompasses the common terms to the obscure. Consider this the Australian Slang Rosetta Stone.

  • No worries – Not a problem, don’t worry about it

“Thanks for making me a sandwich.” “No worries.”

  • Hoon – A young reckless driver

“That crazy hoon just hit an old lady.”

  • Bogan – Someone of a lower class, redneck

“That guy with the mullet is a total bogan.”

  • Reckon – To figure, guess

“I reckon I should take a shower.”

  • Maccas – Short for McDonald’s

“I’m going to Maccas to get a family meal for myself.”

  • Jug – A pitcher of alcohol

“Can I please have six jugs of Carlton for me and my two friends?”

  • Good on ya – Good for you

“I just ate 50 chicken nuggets.” “Oh good on ya!”

  • How ya going – How are you doing

“How ya going Stephen? Still feeling moody?”

  • Sweet as – Awesome

“Sweet as bro!”

*The word “as” can be preceded by any adjective, dumb as, hard as, etc.

  • Divvy van – A cop car

“She went home in a divvy van.”

Finally, here are a few old school Australian insults that I have very little idea of their true meaning:

  • “Stone the crows and starve the flaming lizards.”
  • “Don’t come to raw prawn with me sport.”

Enjoy and repeat these sayings.

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Famous Darwin Sunset

Easter break, for the local Aussies it’s a time to catch up on readings and relax at the local watering holes. For us study abroaders, it’s a time to venture out in to various parts of Australia. The popular choice is, of course, the east coast. Beaches, fishes, cozy sleeping accommodations, Sydney, all fascinating. However, I had a thirst for more, a thirst only quenchable by a tall glass of adventure.

I had always envisioned Australia as a place where pernicious spiders and snakes could strike at any moment, a place where you drop your sandwich and risk losing it to a crocodile, a place where aboriginal culture and arts and intense rock paintings were celebrated. In Melbourne and Sydney this has not been the case. Not to say that I haven’t enjoyed my time here, I have loved my time here. However, I have had a craving for the real Australia, the outback.

Furthermore, the outback was my destination of choice due to what I have been learning in my Australian history classes. We speak a lot about aboriginal culture in class. I hear how the aboriginals have survived extreme climates and tumultuous times. But that’s it, just letters and words. I wanted to get a chance to see what we have been talking about.

Now, on to the trip…

I flew in to the small town of Alice Springs. When I say small, I mean tiny. Very tiny. Alice Springs serves as a stopping point for tourists and backpackers on their way to see Uluru, Ayers Rock, and so on.

The first half of the trip was more or less a road trip from Alice Springs to Darwin. This is a drive directly through the center of Australia. It is the only road in the center. To help break up the trip, we would stop every hour or so to look at a point of interest.

The points of interest were fairly interesting.

The UFO capital of Australia

The Devil’s Marbles

Daly Waters

Daly Waters Pub

After the “road trip,” we arrived in Darwin. Darwin is a small beach town, where you can’t swim at the beach for fear of crocodiles and box jellyfish. This was something I was unaware of until I arrived. Nevertheless, Darwin is a charming place where I wouldn’t have minded staying a little longer. However, after two splendid nights, the next part of the tour was set to begin.


The second part of tour took place in Kakadu National Park, a National Heritage Park nonetheless.

Kakadu National Park is magnificent. April is the end of the wet season. This means that all of the waterfalls are still pouring, the flora and fauna is vibrant and lively, and crocodiles are still lurking around the local swimming holes.

By far, the most exceptional part of the trip was seeing the rock art.

However the highlight for me came while climbing up some rocks. As I was ascending the mountain at record speeds, my foot slipped, coming within centimeters from playing Armageddon with a small green ant colony. (Side note: you can eat the green ant’s bum, one bum tastes like a hundred lemons, and the bums were originally used in preparing fish.) Upon closer inspection of the colony, to assess damage and provide support, I found that this group of ants was completely oblivious to my apocalyptic foot.

Instead, the ants were completely absorbed in an epic battle with native Australian bees. Picture something right out of Star Wars. Better yet, picture the final fight in Avatar. The bees were doing regular bee stuff like getting honey, not looking for trouble. But the green ants thought differently. The ants would strike in to the sky, looking for any bee to hit. The bees would try to evade the ants by using impressive aerial maneuvers. Unfortunately for one bee, his moves were not stellar enough and the long arms of the ants caught him. Once he was brought down, 40 more ants surrounded the poor bee. The last I saw of that bee, he was being carried down to the ant’s lair, desperately trying to escape.


All in all, the trip was very informative. The tour guide, from the second part of the trip, seemed to know everything outback. He was able to answer any question about aboriginal history, culture, and modern life, along with what we could or couldn’t eat in the bush. He was also a spitting image and held the same general demeanor of Leonardo DiCaprio in Body of Lies. That is, he was hip to the problems of the outback, had his ear to the ground, and had a reasonable answer for any issue, all the meanwhile the fat cats in Canberra made the decisions on how to treat the outback.

By going on this tour I came back with new friends from around the world. By traveling alone, I came back with a greater trust in myself. By keeping an open mind, I came back with a new respect for the aborigines and their culture. Altogether, I came back with a greater knowledge of the Australian Outback, which was quite influential on my last history paper.

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Forgive my absence for the upcoming week, for I will be embarking on my Easter Break adventure. My trip begins Monday morning when I fly out to Alice Springs. From there, I will spend the next 7 days traveling through the outback up to Darwin. When I return, readers can expect to read stories ranging from catching jumping crocodiles to cannonballs in to hot springs. Merry Easter.

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Believe it or not, people that come to study abroad actually have to, get this, study. This has been a recent shock to me, seeing as how I hadn’t touched a schoolbook since December. Anyhow, it is almost a quarter of the way through the trimester and I have yet to discuss Deakin and the classes in any kind of detail.

My situation here is pleasantly unique, I truly only have one class I need to pass in order to graduate after this term. Teachers, do not fret, I am only describing my rare situation that I have been afforded. I will still, of course, give the same dynamite work that has been expected of me in semesters past.

Because I am in the second semester of my 5th year, most of credits and core classes have been completed. I only need my one Communication class here, Principles of Public Relations, to satisfy my degree. This incredible anomaly has left the rest of my schedule open for three other classes of my choice. And I, in noble fashion, decided to take a few Australian history classes. What better way to become acquainted with a country’s culture than to divulge in its rich history?

Note: When in an Australia history class, Americans are expected to know the complete American history. Ex. “What was happening on the other side of the world during 1892? Mr. Washington would you like to tell the class?” Um.

Nevertheless, this is what I have observed about Australian classes thus far:

Classes are split between lectures and tutorials. Lectures are usually in a large auditorium setting. Tutorials are the follow-up to lectures. They are in smaller classrooms with fewer students. The tutorial is a great way to reinforce what was taught in the lecture, and in a more personal setting (the lectures are about 60-100 people and the tutorials are roughly 15-30 people).

Much like in America, classes are based on a good amount of reading. And, much like in America, it is easy to be tempted by various vices (i.e. naps, catching rays, beer, the Australian version of “The View”) and fall behind in the readings. By following the readings, it becomes much easier to participate in class. Although on the other side of the world, classes still remain similar to those at Old Dominion.

And now, please come along on a pictorial walking tour of Deakin Uni

The traffic I must cross everyday. Hmm looks a bit like Hampton Blvd.

Entrance #2

The Cheese-grader, a staple of Deakin.

Just some quad.

Einstein’s aka the uni bar.

Fantastic library.

The glorious B building. Home of my classes.

A walkway

Another great cafe

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I had all of the emotions you could imagine sitting in the airport getting ready for an adventure on the other side of the globe. I was giddy and scared. I was excited and sad. I was a bit nauseous due to too much coffee.

The preparation had been tiresome. Paperwork for one school then paperwork for the other. I packed and unpacked. Trying to pack for four seasons in one suitcase is a daunting task. I ended up just packing a bunch of socks and underwear. I hope someone will want to trade a shirt for a pair of Joe Boxers with money signs on them.

I felt under-prepared when I left my house. Was I forgetting something? Most likely yes. Had I packed enough socks? In the back of my head I justified my lack of preparation for my sense of adventure, so who knows what will happen next. I knew that I was leaving this

Fears & Expectations (could be a good tom clancy novel)


  1. Where will I stay when I land in Sydney?
  2. What should I do about a phone/eating/entertainment?
  3. What will living in house with six strangers be like?


  1. Going to the beach
  2. Meeting awesome people from around the globe
  3. Enjoying Melbourne
  4. Maybe a little school work?

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